I hate it. When I hear it, I cover my ears, I bite my tongue and I try to suppress my embarrassment. I just want to scream 'stop saying coupé'. Yes, that dreaded C word is coupé. Why? Because I have no idea what it means. There, I said it. I work in the motor industry and coupé confuses me.
The problem is, car nerds/nuts/freaks assume that I am also a car nerd/nut /freak because I work for CompleteCar.ie. They assume I understand everything they enthuse about, but I don't. I'm not a car enthusiast in the proper sense of the word and that's because I don't know enough about cars, yet. Don't get me wrong, I love cars and I love driving; I once converted a car and lived in it for a year, until it blew up, but that's another story. I am fascinated with car tech and love a good mathematical reciprocal relationship like horsepower, torque and power-to-weight ratios. I love most things about motoring, but car jargon baffles me and there is a lot of jargon. A LOT!
When my CompleteCar.ie colleagues talk of ponies, grunt and Wankels I sometimes think they are taking the mick, having a laugh, pulling my proverbial other one. As for acronyms, who knew you could make so many combinations from just 26 letters: ABS, AMT, EPS, GTI, GTi (depending on whether you're Volkswagen or Peugeot), LEV, LSD, NVH, LOL, FML! I'd crack the Enigma Code faster than the car code.
In most cases, common sense, cop-on and Google gets me through - ponies equal horsepower, oh, I get it, very clever. Now I find it a bit of craic trying to decipher this car cipher. However, the one area that still makes no sense to me and isn't, in my opinion, obvious from given monikers, is car body styles and in particular the c words, coupe, coupé, cabrio, cabriolet, coupé-cabriolet, convertible and coupé-convertible.
As I keep finding out, nothing is ever straightforward in the motor industry. I polled a few motoring journalists for their definition of a coupé and some descriptions were similar, some different and some vague. It's like experienced motoring journalists have an innate "I know it when I see it" ability.
Then, as if to confuse me even more, manufacturers bring out coupés that don't resemble coupés at all. Therefore, to stop any further embarrassing Family Fortunes style surveys, I have decided to school myself on all things car. So, welcome to car class and the first lesson is brought to you by the letter c.
Let's start with the least complicated. A convertible is any car that converts from a closed-top to an open-top. They can have soft-tops or hardtops and retracting or detachable roofs, operated manually or automatically. These are also known as cabriolets or the shortened form cabrio. Historically, cabriolets were two-seat, one-horse carriages with a soft-cloth folding roof. So in the automobile world cabriolet evolved to describe soft-top convertibles, but nowadays convertible, cabriolet and cabrio are interchangeable. However, they all describe a version of an existing car and not usually a purpose built model. The car makers themselves usually choose one or the other. For example, the Audi A3 Cabriolet is the A3 Saloon with the roof and two doors chopped off, while the BMW 4 Series Convertible is the open-topped version of the 4 Series Coupé.
A coupe (pronounced koop) is the American spelling of the European coupé (pronounced coo-pay). However, American car manufacturers sometimes use coupé - to sound a bit fancier, no doubt. My thorough inductive research indicates that a coupe/coupé is a two-door, fixed-roof car with at least two seats, but up to four. A coupé is usually shorter than a saloon and with its sloping rear roofline design and front seats placed back nearer the rear axle this means there is only room for two seats, if any, in the back. If there are two rear seats, it is a two plus two (2+2) setup. Another name for these coupés is fixed-head coupés, like the 1955 Jaguar XK140 Royale Fixed Head Coupé.
OK, with me so far? Two doors, two seats and a fixed roof. This would suggest that a coupé couldn't be a convertible. Right? Wrong, because there are coupé-cabriolets/cabrios and convertible coupés. These are two-door, two-seat (or 2+2) cars with a hard or soft retractable or detachable roof, just like the Peugeot 207CC (the 'CC' stands for coupé cabriolet, I worked that one out myself.)
Drophead coupés are another name for CCs (because four names just isn't enough), like the Phantom Drophead Coupé. Got it? Good. Quiz at the end.
At least we know there can be no four-door coupés, as coupés are two-door. Right? Don't be silly, of course there can be; welcome to the confusing world of the car industry. There are four- and even five-door coupés; however, these are more luxury saloons with classic coupé proportions.
Think Mercedes-Benz CLS and Audi A7 Sportback. Apparently there's a standard set by the Society of Automotive Engineers (SAE) that says a coupé has a maximum 'rear interior volume' of about 934 litres, which rules out many of the larger cars we'd consider to be coupés, but even that isn't exactly crystal clear in its definition.
See, I told you nothing in the car industry is straightforward. Furthermore, there's also Saab's Combi-coupé, a hatchback style car that is more of a saloon than estate. Combi is the European term for estate, so the Combi-coupé is a mixture of both. However, as these cars have a B-pillar and three-, four- or five-doors they are more combi than coupé, although they do have the low sweeping coupé design roofline as seen on the Saab 900 and 99.
But wait, there's more! What about those roadsters? A roadster is a two-seat convertible, with cut down doors and a soft-top roof. Originally, roadsters didn't have much weather protection just side curtains and a self-assemble roof; therefore, they don't fit the description of a fixed-roofed coupé. Today though, they are a bit more refined and most have automatic folding roofs like the Jaguar F-Type, BMW Z8 and Aston Martin V8 Vantage.
But, look out; here comes Mazda, again, to throw a spanner in the works. The world's best-selling roadster is the Mazda MX-5, a classic two-door, two-seat, soft-top, manual-roofed sports car, but there's also a coupé convertible version of the MX-5 with a powered retractable hardtop called the Mazda MX-5 Roadster Coupé.
However, I think, a much more suitable name for it is the Mazda MX-5 convertible, as with gaining a hardtop it loses its roadster pedigree and although it has only two seats, it doesn't have the low sweeping roofline and classic design of a coupé. But, what do I know?
Ok, on to... oh wait, what's that Mazda, you've not finished trying to make me go coupé cuckoo? Yes, once again, Mazda is trying its hand at combining as many variations of body styles and breaking as many design principles as they can - case in point, the Japanese domestic market only Mazda Roadster Coupé NB8C. Mazda took the MX-5 shell and hand welded a metal roof onto it to make a roadster coupé - an actual roadster coupé, with a fixed-roof. Mazda made just 179 of these cars, so they are a rare sight indeed, but, nevertheless, they are one more confusing addition in the coupé conversation.
As for spyders/spiders (cause, you know, two spellings are better than one) well these are also two-seat convertibles but originally had no roof whatsoever just like the original Porsche 550. Now, however, they have roofs but still offer even less coverage than a roadster - think Alfa Romeo Spider and Ferrari 250 GT SWB California Spyder. Therefore, as they originally had no roof, they are not coupés.
Oh, look out, here come Mazda again. Back in 2011, Mazda debuted a Mazda MX-5 Spyder concept, a classic MX-5 with an even lower roofline; however, Mazda shelved this model in favour of donating its 2016 MX-5 rear-wheel drive platform to the new Fiat 124 Spyder, due out next year. Yes, that's right; Mazda is helping build its competition by sharing its roadster platform with a new spyder - the Fiat MX-5 124 Spyder Roadster Convertible Coupé, perhaps? The way things are going I wouldn't be surprised. And let's not forget...
Just kidding. That's enough car geek and speak. Here ends car class for this month. I now no longer hate the c word; however, as informed as I am, I do yearn for the days when the only style of car was 'yellow or not yellow' and yellow cars got you a pinch on the leg and not a pain in the...
Class dismissed.