(Adopts gruff voiceover voice) "And the legends said that when times were hardest, an old hero would return, to save us all..."
We're not sure that's the kind of internal monologue going on in the heads of the General Motors board right now, but we suspect it might be as GM has now officially revived its defunct Hummer brand.
Military inspired
Hummer, as a brand, was based on the original AM General HMMWV (High Mobility Multipurpose Wheeled Vehicle) military vehicle, which became globally famous during the 1990 Gulf War. Celebrities, most notably Arnold Schwarzenegger, started driving civilian versions, and so General Motors decided that a whole series of Hummers, based on existing SUV and pickup chassis, would be a good idea.
While they initially sold well, a combination of poor reviews (mostly for lousy build quality), rising fuel prices and the 2008 financial crash killed the brand off. Until now...
Now, GM is relaunching Hummer as a sub-brand to its GMC heavy-duty trucks division. Not only that, but to quell any protests from the eco-warrior brigade about this most in-your-face of SUVs, Hummer's going all-electric.
How much torque?
The new Hummer EV gets a three-motor electric system, with an estimated 1,000hp and (are you sitting down?) 15,591Nm of torque. No, that's not a typo. Well, sort of not. GM has been accused, already, of publishing misleading figures for the Hummer, allowing for the torque multiplication effect of the car's gearing, and that the real figure will be a still-impressive 1,300Nm or thereabouts.
GM says that the Hummer EV, in spite of being the size of a small house, will accelerate from 0-60mph (just under 100km/h) in just three seconds. Range is quoted at 560km from the 'Ultium Drive' battery, although Hummer isn't yet telling us quite how big its battery is going to be. It will charge at an ultra-rapid 350kW though, thanks to an 800-volt charging system, and when hooked up to the fastest charging points can add 160km of range for every ten minutes on charge.
Drive it sideways
There's also a clever steering system, which Hummer calls 'Crabwalk' that allows the front and rear wheels to pivot in the same direction, allowing this massive pickup to drive kinda sideways. There's adaptive air suspension, which can alter the ride height by as much as 150mm, underbody protection and a camera system called UltraVision that helps you pick out a careful course when off-roading.
The new Hummer is even a convertible. GM says that because the battery pack, mounted in the floor, actually improves overall body stiffness, the Hummer EV can have a removable 'Infinity' roof, the panels for which can be stored in the front-trunk.
Inside, hopefully, this new EV model will dispel the ghosts of crappy plastic trim that came with the old Hummer models, and there's a massive 13.4-inch infotainment screen. Given that the Hummer will have to take on upstart electric trucks from the likes of Tesla and Rivian, there are also some automated driving features, including the Cadillac-derived 'Supercruise' system that keeps you in lane on motorways, and which can also lane-change for you.
"This innovative truck comes to market with speed and purpose, bringing GM another step closer to an all-electric future," said Mark Reuss, president of General Motors. "With our Ultium Drive architecture as the foundation for an exceptionally broad range of performance, Hummer EV is perfect for the customer who wants capability, efficiency and performance."