Nobody buys Jeeps much in Ireland, which is a shame and wrong because they're awesome. Don't believe me? Try taking a Wrangler or a Cherokee off-road - like, seriously off-road - and see how much fun you have.
6.4-litre, 470hp V8 engine
You'd probably be having even more fun in one of these, the new Jeep Wrangler Rubicon 392, with its mighty V8 engine. That's 392 as in 392 cubic-inches of swept capacity, making this a socking great 6.4 litres of all-'Murican V8. With 470hp and 637Nm of torque, it's the most powerful Wrangler ever made (even if 470hp from 6.4 litres sounds a bit thin, frankly). It will shut down one cylinder bank at low throttle outputs, which helps to trim emissions and consumption just a little.
Basically, this is an American market model, which won't be coming to Europe unless you personally import one. Jeep says, officially, that it won't be brought into the EMEA (Europe, Middle-East, Africa) sphere other than in the Middle East, where the petro-dollars still roam free and there's plenty of dunes to go bashing. Shame, but there you have it...
Sports-car-like acceleration
What are we missing out on? Well, we're missing out on a Wrangler that, shunting all of that torque through an eight-speed automatic transmission and a 'Selec-Trac' transfer case, can sprint from 0-97km/h (60mph in old money - 'Merica don't hold with no metric system) in just 4.5 seconds. Yes, it's a Wrangler with which you can go baiting BMW M-cars at traffic lights. It even has launch control, based in part on the experience of Jeep's cousins over at Dodge and Chrysler of running drag strip cars over the years.
Of course, this being a Wrangler, you'll be wanting to spend more time amongst pine trees than traffic lights, and needless to say it's equipped for that. There are heavy-duty wide track Dana 44 axles, a 3.73 final drive ratio, transmission torque converter lockup control, a 2-inch lift and standard 33-inch tyres on 17-inch beadlock-capable wheels. We don't understand much of that, to be honest, but it does make us want to don a khaki jacket and start randomly shouting 'let's off-road!'
To cope with the engine's extra power and torque, the Wrangler has been beefed-up with upgraded chassis rails, front upper control arms and cast iron steering knuckles to take full advantage of its power and torque. The brakes have been improved, too.
Can wade almost a metre of water
With 261mm of ground clearance, approach/breakover/departure angles of 44.5/22.6/37.5 degrees and the ability to traverse up to 825mm of water (thanks to an air intake that can survive a bow wave of water splashing across the bonnet), this is a serious off-road device, and of course is 'Trail Rated' on Jeeps tracks across the Rubicon Trail in Utah.
There's a mode selector that allows you to choose between Off Road Plus, Sand, and Rock modes, as well as a low-ratio gear set for ultimate throttle control when up to your ears in mud.
On the style front, there are bronze-coloured accents to mark this out as the most powerful Wrangler of all, including the big 'Rubicon' badge on the bonnet. The bonnet has been raised by 40mm compared to standard, and the big bonnet air scoop is fully functional. Inside, there are big leather seats with unique bronze stitching, special dials for the instrument panel, and even paddle-shifters for the eight-speed 'box. There's an 8.4-inch uConnect touchscreen which includes special off-road software called Jeep Off-road Pages, which allows owners to monitor pitch, roll, altitude, GPS coordinates, drivetrain power distribution and more.
Even the paint options have awesome names - Black, Bright White, Firecracker Red, Granite Crystal Metallic, Punk 'n Metallic, Sarge Green Metallic, Snazzberry Metallic, Sting-Gray Metallic and Billet Silver Metallic.
If all of that isn't enough, you can also dip deep into the Mopar parts and accessories catalogue (which many, many American Wrangler buyers do) to get beefier axles, bigger wheels, off-road specialist kit, lights and more.
"This is the most-powerful, quickest, most-capable Jeep Wrangler we've ever built," says Jim Morrison, head of Jeep brand - FCA North America. "The factory lift and abundant low-end torque from the V8 makes the Rubicon 392 the king of the hills, whether you're rock crawling at low speeds or powering up an incline. And when pavement replaces dirt, Rubicon 392 makes quick work of the road."
Still not coming here, though. Shame.