If you're the more discerning sort of car nut, you'll know that BMW M cars are for commoners and suckers.
If you really want a properly bespoke, rare, high-performance BMW, you have to have an Alpina. Set up 50 years ago this year, Alpina's work at tuning and tweaking BMWs has become so renowned down through the years that all its cars are covered by a full BMW factory warranty - even though BMW doesn't have any ownership of Alpina.
To mark its big birthday, Alpina has created Edition 50 versions of its turbocharged B5 (that's a 5 Series) and B6 (guess...). The Bi-Turbo badge on both cars refers to a heavily modified BMW 4.4-litre twin-turbo V8 engine, which has been tweaked up to 600hp and 800Nm of torque. Alpina claims that this is the most powerful engine it has ever created.
Performance is just bonkers, including 0-100km/h in the B5 done with in 4.2 seconds and it'll go on to a top speed of 328km/h, or 323km/h if you go for the Touring estate - and remember, BMW won't build you an M5 Touring... The B6 coupe is fractionally faster, with a top end of 330km/h.
Astonishingly, driving through the standard eight-speed ZF automatic gearbox, both of these cars can almost crack 30mpg on average. Both cars get a specially designed titanium sports exhaust system, 20-inch wheels in that classic Alpina-style turbine pattern and 395mm Brembo brakes to keep all that grunt in check.
Inside you get Nappa leather with green and yellow accents - a tribute to the classic B7 Turbo Alpina of the eighties and all the controls are finished in hardwearing ceramic. Only 50 of each will be built and prices start at a fairly hefty €115,553 - and that's before you factor VRT and VAT in...