If small is beautiful then a Kei car must be the most beautiful thing of all, because frankly, I've seen smaller suitcases. Kei cars are tiny cars, vans and even roadsters built to the specific Kei regulations of Japan, which were originally put in place to promote the use of small, affordable and economical cars that wouldn't take up as much space on Japan's crowded roads. While Tokyo traffic hasn't exactly been fixed by the Kei rules, they have led to some staggering feats of motorised ingenuity as car makers look for ways to make the most of the regulations.
And those regulations are actually pretty simple. Last updated in 1998, they state that the car must have a maximum engine size of 660cc (although turbos are thankfully allowed), the maximum output must only be 63hp, the maximum load capacity 350kg, the maximum number of seats is four, it can't be more than two metres high, nor more than 1.48 metres wide nor more than 3.4 metres long.
In other words it has to be small and slow and frugal. Now, normally, when presented with a set of tightly proscriptive rules, car makers cry ‘foul' and run to their congress-persons to lobby against them. Well, that's what happens in the US and Europe at any rate. In Japan though, and this is possibly a measure of the national character, the car makers just got on with making their Kei cars as wacky, as practical, as occasionally insane and frequently as adorable as possible.
And believe it or not, you've probably driven a Kei car or at least the grandson of one. After all, one of the most successful Kei cars ever was the Honda N360, which eventually became the slightly larger (and non-Kei) Honda N600, which eventually became the Civic... Plus there are the likes of the Suzuki Wagon R (sold here for a time) that practically defines the concept of boxy-but-good. Or how about the Mitsubishi i? Or the Daihatsu Copen? Or the Honda Beat?
Now, we really need to talk about the Beat because when it came out it was the coolest little roadster around (and we really mean little - remember the regulations). Roadster? Yep, Honda made a mid-engined, two-seat convertible Kei sports car and people just went nuts for it. This was the early nineties when no-one really cared about emissions regulations, so a few Beats made it to this side of the world and are now prized collectors' items. Better yet, Honda has a
Beat successor on sale in Japan right now, called the S660 - again it's a cute as a button tiny roadster with a mid-mounted engine and styling that looks like a Transformer designed by puppies. Why isn't Honda selling it here? Probably those damnable emissions regulations - we should definitely have those repealed or something...
And then there's Subaru. Subaru as we know it wouldn't exist without the Kei regulations. The car-making arm of the less-than-cuddly-sounding Fuji Heavy Industries made its name originally with the little 360 Kei car, which looked like a cross between a Volkswagen Beetle and an Isetta bubble car. Small it may have been, but an American businessman called Malcolm Bricklin saw something in the 360 that he thought might appeal to an American public addled by the sudden spike in petrol prices during the energy crisis of the early seventies. Recognising that even at 66mpg, flogging a tiny, un-pretty Kei car to the American public was going to be tricky, Bricklin decided to get the insults in first and created a memorable ad with the tagline "Cheap And Ugly Does It." The ad was a success, the car a minor hit and Subaru suddenly found that it had a global brand.
There are some less exciting Kei cars - motorised boxes essentially such as the Toyota Pixis Mega or the Honda N-Box. Even these though are somehow a little more fascinating than some of the dreary small cars we get on this side of the planet. The Pixis Mega can be had with sliding side doors and four-wheel drive (!) while the N-Box has an interior option that dresses it up in chrome and red leather in the style of a fifties American diner. Now who amongst us wouldn't prefer that to the uniform grey plastic interiors of most Euro-budget small cars?
Or what about the Suzuki Hustler? OK, so it has an unfortunate name but not only does it look as if someone shrunk an original Toyota Land Cruiser FJ in the wash, it's also a camper van! Honestly - there's a built-in gazebo-cum-tent arrangement that unfolds from the back and the seats flip down to make a tiny double bed. Awesome. I want one.
I'd better act fast though because the Kei cars' days are numbered. According to the New York Times, the Japanese government is cracking down on Kei cars, cranking up the taxes payable on them (the whole original point of a Kei car was that you got cheaper tax for driving a smaller car) and putting the muscle on car makers to cease their development. Why? Because of concerns that car makers are spending too much time and development cash on Kei cars, which, except in very rare instances, are only ever sold in Japan. While demand in the Japanese market remains high for the Kei cars, the fact is that the Japanese government wants more and more exports, even against the current strength of the Yen. Kei cars won't drive those exports, so the word from on high is to stop making them.
So, come on Japanese car makers - if you want to keep selling Kei cars at home, start selling them here too. It's the perfect triple whammy; you get The Man off your back at home, you can spread your investment costs and European cities will fill up with jaunty little mobile boxes and pocket-sized convertibles. Which is surely a more cheerful vision of motoring than the one we have right now.
You know it makes sense. I'll take an S660 and a Hustler as compensation for my stunning business acumen. Arigato!